Snow Days and an Update!

When I was a kid I always hoped and prayed for snow days! I think in the entire time I was a student it happened 4 or 5 times only, but this week I have had two snow days!! Now, being the teacher, I appreciate the unexpected break but can only think about my students and the upcoming exams they have and all the things I wanted to review with them this week. Let's hope that they are being responsible and studying on their own...lol we'll see! I went to my doctor a couple weeks ago and got some disappointing news. Despite the weight loss results I have seen in the last year, he wants me to lose another 40 lbs before going on any more fertility medication. This was different than my last visit, but he said he doesn't want to waste the Clomid cycles I have left. Waiting will optimize my chances on the medication, and get my body in a healthier state to become pregnant. Plus there are only a certain number of cycles you can do with Clomid. How depressing!! I want to lose weight, and have been making changes to help me do this, but another 40 lbs seems like it will take FOREVER to come off!! I am simply not willing to wait another year and I do not want to go through trying each month and have the disappointment that my body is still not ovulating on its own. We tried last month, but no success as the other day I got an un-welcomed surprise. My body needs help ovulating and I am frustrated that I need to wait. Do I go back to the other doctor who has a different approach and will give me the fertility drugs? Do I wait it out and hope that it only takes me 4 or 5 months to lose that weight? Do I go for a more radical approach to weight loss (pills, personal trainer, programs)? Even as I write this, I know the best option is to lose the weight naturally, and not consider how long it will take. I am getting healthy and that is what is important. How then, do I stop myself from crying over pictures of my niece and nephews on Facebook, simply because they are getting so much bigger and my kids will be so much younger. How do I feel happy about my SIL having her third before I even get to have one? How do I feel overjoyed for my 8 friends who are pregnant and all due before June? How can I be okay with the potential that I may not get pregnant this year? It goes on and on... The year started off with so much hope, but now I feel like there is still a long way to go on this journey. I haven't lost all hope though...I am just frustrated and my heart is sad. Can someone invent something that will make the 40 lbs just disappear?