Decisions, decisions, decisions...

The last week or so I have been pondering whether I should give Clomid another try. I tried it for 4 months and it did not get my body to ovulate. After that I explored the naturopathic route and have been doing that since March. It has not worked either, although for the past three months my period has come on time...which is a miracle! I am wondering if the Clomid might be more effective now that my period is more regular. I would keep the vitamins and supplements going, and also do the Clomid. I don't like the idea of the effects that the Clomid could have on my body, but at this point it is the only thing different that we can afford to try. I am trying to be careful not to let my desire for a baby cloud my judgement about this...but most days I feel desperate to just try or do something!!

This summer I am also going to be working on losing weight. The doctors have tested me for, what seems like, everything under the sun, and there is nothing wrong. What is wrong, is that I am about 100 lbs overweight, and this is the only thing they can think of that could be causing it. This is very specific to the woman as there are many women who are much heavier than me and they have conceived. For me, the weight seems to affecting my hormone levels, causing excess estrogen and therefore not inducing ovulation. My hopes for the summer are that I stick with my exercise plan, continue to make healthier eating choices and lose 25 lbs! I have committed to doing my Couch to 5km program, as well as walk...A LOT! Sam and I are going to also be walking in the evenings, and geochaching, which is good exercise if you choose the right area to walk to!

I am very hopeful that with losing more weight in the summer, exercising, and continuing to take the vitamins and supplements that I will get pregnant before the year is out! It saddens me in a lot of ways that I am thinking so far ahead, but I understand that this is a process...and it will feel good to lose more weight before I get pregnant anyways!! I am going to be blogging my journey through the summer...all the nitty, gritty details of the ups and down, and all the real numbers...yikes! I am looking forward to it, and hope that this will keep me a bit more accountable!

In other news, my sister is nearly a month away from her due date, and I cannot wait to meet my little niece or nephew!! My sister and I have always been close, and in some ways I think her baby will feel like the closest thing to my own, until I have my own. I am very excited to share all those special moments with her, and I love that she comes to me with baby questions still, even though I have never had one!! In some ways, this is like I pictured it...I get to help and support my sister through this, even if I have never experienced it myself. I have begun knitting a baby blanket for the new babe, and when I make a bit more progress, I will post pictures!

As I right this I am staring out the window at pouring rain, and am finding it hard to believe that it is the middle of June! I cannot believe that this is the last week of school. Of course, as a teacher, the work doesn't stop when the students stop coming, there are exams and study sessions and my tutoring students to help as well. I am working and tutoring non-stop right now, which is extremely tiring and exhausting! The countdown is on to June 28th, which is when my much-deserved restful and relaxing summer begins, I cannot wait!!

"I was worth the wait..."

Yesterday I was on a website that all these hysterical baby onsies that you could buy. I browsed through over 20 pages of them and then came across one that said: "I was worth the wait." I teared up at the thought of our little one wearing that! I am confident that when we get our little miracle, they will definitely be worth the wait!! It is just the waiting part that I have to get through :)

I am still working on memorizing Jeremiah 29: 11-13, and trying to live in the hope of that promise! If you are reading this and need a little reminder that God always has a plan for you, then here maybe this will help you also:

Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to PROSPER you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

In Waiting,
Melody